Steps to Love and Romance in Islam

Source: perfectmuslimwedding.com

By: Shaikh Abdul Rahman Murphy

1. There are 4 types of maturity: Financial, Spiritual, Physical, and Emotional. For most people they are lacking 2 of the 4.
2. Emotional maturity is very important. How will you deal with situation if you lose job, wife can’t get pregnant, how you handle in-laws, etc. Ask yourself “Am I emotionally mature to live with someone who has different likes/dislikes?”
3. You don’t have the right to judge without having communicated.
4. Married life is about Mawada and Rahma (Mercy).
5. If there is physical or verbal abuse, see a counselor.
6. In a Muslim home there needs to be an attitude of gratitude. Think what your spouse and kids are doing, not what they are not doing. Kids thank parents. Parents thank kids.
7. Romance between spouses is religious. The Prophet (SAW) said in a Hadith when asked who he loved most, it was Aisha (RA). When asked from men, then, “her father” reference still being her. He (SAW) had a nickname for her “Aish.” Find out what your spouse’s likes and dislikes are. Flowers and chocolates may work, but may not.
8. Compromise is the mortar of marriage. It holds the bricks together and makes it strong. Prophet (SAW) gave in to his wives on small wishes, but never sacrificed on principles.
9. Number one cause of divorce in the US is money. This is why Financial maturity is important.
10. Part of the rizk (sustenance) you have been given is your health. That is physical, mental, and spiritual. You can’t neglect any of them.
11. When you get angry, follow the Hadith, “The strong one is who controls himself in anger.” This requires self-control and discipline.  Make wudu as water cools the fire that rages from anger.
12.  Put Allah back in the equation. When we look at a relationship we only think of 2 people.  Don’t treat people the way they are meant to be treated. Ask yourself how are my prayers? Those who pray together, stay together.
13. Make dua like you mean it.

Other things a husband can do to do to keep the spark of love alive from Sh. Faraz Ibn Adam:

Love and romance in Islam

Source: jamiat.org.za

The IBA Iqra Society invited Sheikh Kamaluddin Ahmed’s wife ‘Alimah Sobia Ahmed’ on the 22nd of November, 2010 to deliver a lecture on the topic Romance in Islam. The following is an edited version of the notes prepared by Maliha Abidi during the lecture. It also includes some points from a lecture delivered by Alimah Sobia Qasim (a student of the speaker) at a summer program in Karachi called Footsteps.

The word “Muhabbat” comes from the Arabic word “Hubb(a)”, which literally means seed; a seed that every human being has. That is, it is important for us to realize that love (or rather, feeling (verb)) is a function of the heart, just like seeing is the function of the eye.