Steps to Love and Romance in Islam

Source: perfectmuslimwedding.com

By: Shaikh Abdul Rahman Murphy

1. There are 4 types of maturity: Financial, Spiritual, Physical, and Emotional. For most people they are lacking 2 of the 4.
2. Emotional maturity is very important. How will you deal with situation if you lose job, wife can’t get pregnant, how you handle in-laws, etc. Ask yourself “Am I emotionally mature to live with someone who has different likes/dislikes?”
3. You don’t have the right to judge without having communicated.
4. Married life is about Mawada and Rahma (Mercy).
5. If there is physical or verbal abuse, see a counselor.
6. In a Muslim home there needs to be an attitude of gratitude. Think what your spouse and kids are doing, not what they are not doing. Kids thank parents. Parents thank kids.
7. Romance between spouses is religious. The Prophet (SAW) said in a Hadith when asked who he loved most, it was Aisha (RA). When asked from men, then, “her father” reference still being her. He (SAW) had a nickname for her “Aish.” Find out what your spouse’s likes and dislikes are. Flowers and chocolates may work, but may not.
8. Compromise is the mortar of marriage. It holds the bricks together and makes it strong. Prophet (SAW) gave in to his wives on small wishes, but never sacrificed on principles.
9. Number one cause of divorce in the US is money. This is why Financial maturity is important.
10. Part of the rizk (sustenance) you have been given is your health. That is physical, mental, and spiritual. You can’t neglect any of them.
11. When you get angry, follow the Hadith, “The strong one is who controls himself in anger.” This requires self-control and discipline.  Make wudu as water cools the fire that rages from anger.
12.  Put Allah back in the equation. When we look at a relationship we only think of 2 people.  Don’t treat people the way they are meant to be treated. Ask yourself how are my prayers? Those who pray together, stay together.
13. Make dua like you mean it.

Other things a husband can do to do to keep the spark of love alive from Sh. Faraz Ibn Adam:

The Pervasive Effects of Humility

By: Lobna Mulla

Source: http://www.suhaibwebb.com/

“A spoonful of humility a day, keeps the ego away.”  Well, it’s not the original saying, but it sends a clear message.  Truly realizing the benefits of being humble can assist us in achieving success not only in this life, but also in the hereafter.

According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, to be humble is to not be proud, arrogant, or assertive.  In Arabic, tawaada (humility) literally means to lower one’s self or to submit.  Taking these definitions together and adding the characteristic of humility as relayed in Qur’anic verses and Prophetic examples, we begin to have a richer understanding of its importance and practical applications.

Science says Men & Women Can’t Be Just Friends (Video)

 Another one of the beauties of #Islam is that it recognizes this great natural attraction between men and women and gives us the clear guidelines in this matter so that we can keep to a pure , Safe, chaste, and moral life style. This can be a sensitive issue for some people but if you put your emotions to the side and sincerely look at this from a scientific and logical perspective from the studies that have been done on the issue of gender relations, and if you are a God loving and fearing human being you would start to agree more and more with Islam’s special care and protection of women.

Islam and Women

General Look at Women in Islam

Main Article: Women in Islam – From Islam’s Sources

To hear groups like the Council of American-Islamic Relations or the Islamic Society of North America, one might be given the impression that Islam holds women in high regard. Indeed, Souad Saleh, a female professor at Al-Ahzar University in Cairo and a vocal proponent of women’s rights in Egypt, recently stated, “Islam is pure and simple, and it holds women in high esteem.”^[1] If women are treated equally in Islam, is there justification for it in the sacred writings of Islam, or is this ‘equal treatment’ in conflict with sacred directives? What does the Qur’an say about women? What does Muhammad say about women as recorded in the hadith, and what kind of example did he set in the way he treated the women in his life? Do the reports we hear of women being oppressed accord with sacred scripture, or are they rather anomalies having no foundation in Islam? What have women from an Islamic background actually experienced – what are their stories? These are some of the issues this article addresses.

Islamic Writing and Women

Main Article: Women (Primary Sources)

Islamic scriptures and scholars have much to say in regards to Women and their role in Islam.

Narrated Usama bin Zaid: The Prophet said, “After me I have not left any affliction more harmful to men than women.”

Sahih Bukhari 7:62:33

Narrated ‘Aisha: The things which annual prayer were mentioned before me (and those were): a dog, a donkey and a woman. I said, “You have compared us (women) to donkeys and dogs. By Allah! I saw the Prophet praying while I used to lie in (my) bed between him and the Qibla. Whenever I was in need of something, I disliked to sit and trouble the Prophet. So, I would slip away by the side of his feet.”

Sahih Bukhari 1:9:493

Women are Deficient in Intelligence

Main Article: Women are Deficient in Intelligence

Muhammad’s dislike for women caused him to declare that the majority of the inhabitants of Hell are women.^[2] When asked why he said it was because they are deficient in intelligence and religion and because they are ungrateful to their husbands. Although Muslim apologists and female Muslims use a lot of creative arguments to explain away Muhammad’s declarations about women, they don’t stand up to scrutiny. This article will present evidence showing Muhammad’s belief that all women are less intelligent than their male counterparts, as well as examine and refute the common Muslim claims about the ahadith in question.

Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri:

Once Allah’s Apostle went out to the Musalla (to offer the prayer) o ‘Id-al-Adha or Al-Fitr prayer. Then he passed by the women and said, “O women! Give alms, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-fire were you (women).” They asked, “Why is it so, O Allah’s Apostle ?” He replied, “You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you.” The women asked, “O Allah’s Apostle! What is deficient in our intelligence and religion?” He said, “Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man?”They replied in the affirmative. He said, “This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Isn’t it true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses?” The women replied in the affirmative. He said, “This is the deficiency in her religion.” 

Sahih Bukhari 1:6:301

 

Relationships are built on understanding, if what you want is not clear to you, you shouldn’t be surprised with what you get.

 Relationships are built on understanding, if what you want is not clear to you, you shouldn’t be surprised with what you get.
 Las relaciones se construyen en el entendimiento, si lo que quieres no es claro para usted, usted no debe ser sorprendido con lo que se obtiene.
 Relaties worden gebouwd op het begrijpen, als wat je wilt is niet duidelijk voor je, moet je niet verrast zijn met wat je krijgt.
 Les relations sont fondées sur la compréhension, si ce que vous voulez n’est pas clair pour vous, vous ne devriez pas être surpris par ce que vous obtenez.
 Beziehungen werden auf dem Verständnis aufgebaut, wenn das, was Sie wollen, ist nicht klar, Sie, sollten Sie nicht überrascht, mit dem, was Sie erhalten.
 Guānxì shì jiànlì zài lǐjiě, rúguǒ nǐ xiǎng yǒu shé me bù qīngchu de nǐ, nǐ bù yìng gāi gǎndào jīngyà nǐ huì dédào shénme.
 Relationer bygger på förståelse, om vad du vill ha är inte klart för dig, ska du inte bli förvånad med vad du får.
 Otnosheniya stroyatsya na ponimanii , yesli to, chto vy khotite ne yasno dlya vas, vy ne dolzhny byt’ udivleny tem, chto vy poluchayete.
 İlişkiler anlayış üzerine inşa ne istediğinizi size net değilse, ne olsun ile sürpriz olmamalıdır.
 Le relazioni sono costruite sulla comprensione, se ciò che si vuole non è chiaro, non si dovrebbe essere sorpreso con quello che si ottiene.
 Hubungan yang dibangun di atas pemahaman, jika apa yang Anda inginkan tidak jelas bagi Anda, Anda tidak perlu heran dengan apa yang Anda dapatkan.