By: Shaikh Abdul Rahman Murphy
- There are 4 types of maturity: Financial, Spiritual, Physical, and Emotional. For most people they are lacking 2 of the 4.
- Emotional maturity is very important. How will you deal with situation if you lose job, wife can’t get pregnant, how you handle in-laws, etc. Ask yourself “Am I emotionally mature to live with someone who has different likes/dislikes?”
- You don’t have the right to judge without having communicated.
- Married life is about Mawada and Rahma (Mercy).
- If there is physical or verbal abuse, see a counselor.
- In a Muslim home there needs to be an attitude of gratitude. Think what your spouse and kids are doing, not what they are not doing. Kids thank parents. Parents thank kids.
- Romance between spouses is religious. The Prophet (SAW) said in a Hadith when asked who he loved most, it was Aisha (RA). When asked from men, then, “her father” reference still being her. He (SAW) had a nickname for her “Aish.” Find out what your spouse’s likes and dislikes are. Flowers and chocolates may work, but may not.
- Compromise is the mortar of marriage. It holds the bricks together and makes it strong. Prophet (SAW) gave in to his wives on small wishes, but never sacrificed on principles.
- Number one cause of divorce in the US is money. This is why Financial maturity is important.
- Part of the rizk (sustenance) you have been given is your health. That is physical, mental, and spiritual. You can’t neglect any of them.
- When you get angry, follow the Hadith, “The strong one is who controls himself in anger.” This requires self-control and discipline. Make wudu as water cools the fire that rages from anger.
- Put Allah back in the equation. When we look at a relationship we only think of 2 people. Don’t treat people the way they are meant to be treated. Ask yourself how are my prayers? Those who pray together, stay together.
- Make dua like you mean it.
Other things a husband can do to do to keep the spark of love alive from Sh. Faraz Ibn Adam:
A husband and a wife have a relationship with each other, with their own parents, and their own siblings. One of these relationships should not superimpose on another relationship and take you away from fulfilling its rights and responsibilities. A new episode of “That’s Messed Up” will be available every Monday.
Some points covered in this weeks show:
1. Where true Happiness comes from
2. Peer Pressure
3. Being invited to party and smoke weed
4. let’s all face it we all make mistakes
5. Who are your friends
6. Yolo – You only live once
7. Come on girl take off that Hijab
8. Invitation to the club with all drinks payed
9. Women don’t be fooled by his poetry, sweet words of nothing
10.When guys get what they want they are out.
12 Parents will be held accountable for making the Halal hard and the Haram easy.
All this and more on this weeks amazing show with guest Mohammed Zeyara
One of the hardest parts of parenting is getting our kids to listen to us, and then, of course, getting them to do what we ask!
If you remember to use a few important skills this job will be much easier for you. Insha Allah
Think before you speak.
You tell your daughter it’s time to leave, then take twenty more minutes to get yourself ready. You ask your kids to clean up the family room, then allow the mess to remain for the night. You threaten to cancel your child’s trip if he speaks badly to you again. He does, but you don’t. All these scenes create kids who have “selective hearing.” Instead, take a minute to think before you issue a command, be specific, and your words will become more accurate and meaningful.
By: Nisaar Nadiadwala
What motivates your child to do a good deed or to stay away from evil? Most of the parents would find this difficult to answer. Our children hear a lot from everyone that back biting is forbidden in Islam but they can’t stop themselves from indulging in it. They know the virtues of praying fardh salah in the masjid but we find very few children in the masjid. What motivates them to develop habits that are marked very high by Islam? What stops them from indulging in things that spoil their character and put their akhirah in danger?
By: Umm Ammarah
Dad what can I do next???…Mum I’m BORED!!! For parents vacations can be really demanding keeping our children occupied. Vacations pose a great challenge for many parents. However holidays can be great fun if parents are positive, creative and interactive. Also during the vacation there is a good opportunity to recharge our kid’s spiritual batteries and start afresh in daily activities. It is a joyous period and a unique break from our busy schedules. We should welcome vacations for its fun.
The excitement surrounding vacations and family trips usually kicks off with strong excitement. However, after only a short time away from the daily routines of school, one phrase parents dread hearing begins to creep into the language of children almost instinctively: “I’M BORED”!
This eBook is an extract from the popular, “The Ideal Muslimah” book by By Dr. Muhammad ‘Ali Al-Hashimi.
One of the chapters was very relevant to Islamic parenting so we extracted only this chapter and made it available for download here. Chapter 5 is titled, “The Muslimah and Her Children” and contains the following:
- She understands his great responsibility towards her children
- She uses the best methods in bringing them up
- She equally treats her sons and daughters equally
- She demonstrates her love and affection for them
- She does not pray against her children
- She is alert to everything that may have an influence on them
- She instils good behavior and attitudes in them