8 reasons marriages fail

Source: shapemindsoul.com

By: Kim Stern

When you enter into a marriage, you never think about the fact that a large percentage of marriages actually fail. Marriages fail for many reasons and if you’ve had a failed marriage your main reason for failure might be different than most others. However, there are some reasons that are consistent across most failed marriages.

Take a look at my list of the 8 reasons why most fail.

Why People Leave Each Other?

By: Yasmin Mogahed

Source: http://hadithoftheday.com/

When I was 17 years old, I had a dream. I dreamt that I was sitting inside a masjid and a little girl walked up to ask me a question. She asked me: “Why do people have to leave each other?” The question was a personal one, but it seemed clear to me why the question was chosen for me.

I was one to get attached.

Ever since I was a child, this temperament was clear. While other children in preschool could easily recover once their parents left, I could not. My tears, once set in motion, did not stop easily. As I grew up, I learned to become attached to everything around me. From the time I was in first grade, I needed a best friend. As I got older, any fall-out with a friend shattered me. I couldn’t let go of anything.

THE NURSE AND THE MUSLIM PATIENT – A TRUE STORY FROM THE UNITED KINGDOM

Source: thedeenshow.com

My patient was an English gentleman in his early 80s who suffered from Alzheimer’s. In the first meeting, the patient was given his record and from it I could see that he was a convert to the religion of Islam, therefore he was a Muslim.

Allah is near!

Dear Muslims, No matter what conditions any man may endure; whether he enjoys great or bad times, he is healthy or sick, he achieves success or is caught in failure, he needs his Creator, the Independent. Constantly, he is aware of his weakness before his Lord, the Almighty. He, therefore, seeks refuge in Him through prayers. In so doing He insists in asking in hope for fulfilling his needs and overcoming his difficulties. How can he not pray to Allah, whereas He says, “call upon Me; I will respond to you.” (Ghafir: 60). O you who is plunged into pain, leaving him blank and is hardly able to rid of his grief; O who is deeply sad and depressed; O who is needy, to whom are you going to resort for relieving your worries? Do not you seek your Lord’s assistance, Who is Closer to you than the jugular vein? Have not you read in His book: “and when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me – indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me.” (Al Baqara: 186). Certainly the Glorious is He responds to those who turn to and supplicate to Him, and, by His favour, does not disappoint them. So be keen to insist in invoking Allah as the Prophet pbuh used to do.

CONSUMPTION-CONSCIOUSNESS IN RAMADAN

By: Meena Malik

Source: http://muslimmatters.org/

A couple nights ago, we broke one of our family Ramadan rules of “no fried food” and my mom went all out and cooked a bunch of deep-fried traditional Pakistani food.  It tasted amazing and hit the spot, but we paid for it and all felt lousy when we woke up for suhoor the next morning.

By no means am I a health-nut, but during this month I find a new level of painstaking awareness of what I am eating and other habits that contribute to my general well-being.  The gray areas of my eating habits before become a lot more black and white during Ramadan, like avoiding fried food, for instance.

ProductiveRamadan To-Do List!

>> Click here to download your ProductiveRamadan To-Do List 

Source: http://productivemuslim.com/productive-ramadan-to-do-list/

By: Aneesah Satriya

We all know that the beautiful month of Ramadan is essentially about generosity, nobility, developing oneself and being more compassionate towards others. In addition to internalizing those meanings, we need to act upon them as well.

Accordingly, we at ProductiveMuslim developed a to-do list that you can use this Ramadan. The purpose is to help you organize yourselves and your time in Ramadan.

The to-do list has regular daily acts, as well as, a recommended special act to explore every day.

You can check the task that you have fulfilled every day and highlight the ones you still want to explore. This might help some of us avoid having wasted time in Ramadan or not knowing what to do with the extra time.

Please feel free to share and/or develop the list as per your needs and circumstances. Also please remember that Ramadan is not about being overwhelmed. Rather it’s about ease and mercy, and as Prophet Muhammad  taught us, “the act most pleasing to Allah  is that which is done continuously, even if it is small.”
[Sahih Muslim]

 

Sincerity (Ikhlaas)

Ikhlas (sincerity) is to do everything, internal and external, only desiring the pleasure of Allah. It is to forget the eyes of the people, and whether they view your deeds or not, with the only thing on your mind that Allah is watching you. There are beautiful verses in the Quran in this regard, where Allah describes the righteous in Paradise:

{They [are those who] fulfill [their] vows and fear a Day whose evil will be widespread. And they give food in spite of love for it to the needy, the orphan, and the captive, [saying], “We feed you only for the countenance of Allah. We wish not from you reward or gratitude} (Al-Insan 76:7-9)

Sincerity needs to be performed according to the Sunnah of the prophet,

may Allah bless him and grant him peace.

“And they have been commanded to worship only Allah, being sincere towards Him in their religion.” (98; 5)

There are three things that strengthen the heart, and whoever distinguishes should feel no enmity and malice;

1. Devoting ones actions to Allah,
2. Giving counsel to the Imams of the Muslims,
3. Being loyal to the majority2

These three things stated is meant the strengthen the heart, and whoever distinguishes

A servant can only free himself from shaytan through sincere devotion. Devotion is when one starts to purify the heart form all impurities, whether small of big few or many. Allah says in the holy Quran

“Except those of your servants who are sincere” (38.83)

Such a person should be devout in all their actions this can only come from the love of Allah. Actions such as eating, drinking and answering the cause of nature.

With rare expectations, anyone who is not like this will find the door of devotion closed in his face.

The everyday actions of a person who is overwhelmed by his love for Allah and the akhira are characterised by this love and they are in fact pure devotion. In the same way, anyone whose soul is overwhelmed by love for and preoccupation with this world, or status and authority, will be it prayer or fasting, will be acceptable except in very rare case.

“And something will come to them from Allah which they had never anticipated, for the evil of their deeds will become apparent to them. (39; 47-48)

“Say; shall we tell you who will lose most in respect of their deeds? Those whose efforts were astray in the life of this world, while they thought that they were doing food works.” (18; 103-104)

This is referring to sincere devotion only for Allah’s sake and not for the eyes of the people.

It has been related that man was used to praying in the first row in the mosque. One day he was late for the prayer and had to pray in the second row.  Feeling embarrassment when people saw him in the second row.  People were admiring him for being in the first row. He realised his satisfaction of the heart that he used to gain from praying in the first row were due to his seeing him there admiring him for it. This is a subtle and intangible condition and actions are rarely safe from it. Apart from those who Allah has assisted, few are aware of such delicate matters. Those who do not realise it only come to see their good deeds appearing as bad ones on the Day of Resurrection.

Yaqub said; “A devout person is someone who conceals things that are good, in the same way that he conceals things that are bad.”

Ayyub said; “It is much harder for the people of action to purify their intentions than it is to execute any of their actions.”

Some people have said; “To be devout for a short while is to survive forever, but devotion.

Written by Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah,

http://womenofjannah.com/

Lady Gaga Fan Converts to Islam becomes Muslim (Video)

 In this video a Lady Gaga fan realizes that her life is empty and Islam is the only way she can find peace and happiness she needs.
More video’s…

30 things to stop

By: muslimvillage.com

Source: muslimvillage.com

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curve-balls are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curve-balls thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

The views expressed in this article are the author’s and do not necessarily reflect those ofMuslimVillage.com.