Source: The Deen Show
She walks down the street covered up from head to toe. Her many layers and loose clothing have you very confused. It’s warm outside. Most people are wearing shorts and t-shirts. Yet, you find this particular woman, going against the norm and sticking out from the rest. In America, where one is “free” to do, say, or even wear anything, why would a free woman choose to dress this way? It’s a logical question.
1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!
2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your pyjamas suit all day.
3. Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
4. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother. (Not ALL in laws are bad)
5. Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
6. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times. Aisha (رضالله عنها) narrated that the Prophet (صلي الله عليه وسلم) used to ask her how strong her love for him, she said like “a knot.” And the next time he would ask her, “How is that knot?” He also used to reply to her saying, “Jazak ALLAH , O Aishah, wallahi, you have not rejoiced in me as I have rejoiced in you.”.
7. Call his family often.
8. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
9. Encourage him to do good deeds.
10. If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it, Insha’Allah.
11. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.
12. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
13. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really.
14. Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.
May Allah Bring Prosperity. Ameen
By: Mufti Faraz al-Mahmudi
- After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you, begin with a good greeting.
- Meet him with a cheerful face.
- Put on clean clothes. Beautify and perfume yourself.
- Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested.
- Receive him with loving and yearning sentences.
- Beautify and Soften the Voice (for your husband only, it shouldn’t be used in front of non-mahram men).
- Take good care of your body and fitness.
- Bath regularly and, after the monthly period.
- Avoid that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape.
- Avoid prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tattoo.
- Use the types of perfumes, colours, and clothes that your husband likes.
- Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time. However,avoid excessiveness and, of course,only act as such in front of mahram men and women.
- Hasten for intimacy when husband feels compulsion for it.
- Exchange loving phrases with your husband.
- Be satisfied with what Allah has allotted.
- Remember that real wealth lays in Iman and piety.
- Do not be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job. Look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember Allah for all that is given to you.
- Do not ask your husband for many unnecessary things.
- Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible (Halal), but it means that one should look forward to the hereafter and utilize whatever Allah gave them to achieve paradise (Jannah).
- Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give charity and feed poor and needy people.
- Be grateful to your husband.
- If you are grateful, your husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways.
- If you are ungrateful, your husband will be disappointed and will start asking himself: Why should I do good to her, if she never appreciates? Avoid such situations.
- Always remain loyal to him.
- Compliance to him, particularly in times of calamities in your husband’s body or business, e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy
- Support him through your own work, money, and properties if needed.
- Follow him in all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited (Haram). In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his support and consultant.
- Try to avoid what will guarantee his anger.
- Please him if he is angry.
- If you are mistaken, then apologize.
- If he is mistaken then keep still instead of arguing or yield your right. Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him.
- If he was angry because of external reasons then keep silent until his anger goes away.
- Find excuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, someone insulted him, etc.
- Do not ask many questions or insist on knowing about what happened, (e.g. you should tell me what happened? … I must know what made you so angry… You are hiding something, and I have the right to know.)
- Protect yourself from any prohibited relationships.
- Keep the secrets of the family, particularly bedroom talks and things that your husband doesn’t like other people to know.
- Take care of the house and children.
- Take care of his money and properties.
- Do not go out of your house without his permission; go out in appropriate dress.
- Refuse people whom he does not like to come over.
- Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place.
- Be good to his parents and relatives. Welcome his guests.
- Avoid problems with his relatives as much as you can.
- Avoid putting him in a position where he has to choose between his mother and his wife.
- Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, etc.
- Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home.
- Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in calamities, etc..
- Do not follow or create unfounded doubts.
- Jealousy is a sign for wife’s love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulting or backbiting others, disrespecting them, etc..
- Be patient when you face poverty, strained circumstances and hardships (such as calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your husband, your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases, accidents, death, getting fired, etc.
- Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and voluntary worships.
- Encourage him to pray at night. Listen and recite the Quran individually and with your husband. Remember Allah much, particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib.
- Learn Islamic rules (ahkam) and good manners (adab) for women.
- Support your husband’s activities by encouraging him, offering wise opinions, soothing his pains, etc.
- Keep house clean, decorated and well arranged.
- Prepare tasty and healthy foods.
- Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing.
- Learn how to raise children properly and in an Islamic way.
- Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he agrees on this.
- Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc. Teach them Islam and tell them the stories of the Prophets and companions.
By: Asmaa Hussein
“The eyes roll up at the moment of death, following the soul as it is emptied from the body. It is the moment we fear, that which we loathe, what we would give all our riches to avoid: death.
I remember seeing Amr like that after he was killed. I remember his body and face resting, motionless, the blood that had dried on his face and beard. It wasn’t really him anymore – just the shell that once held his soul. I remember those tears as I stood over him wondering what my life would be like after losing a love so great.
That moment of death. The one that makes our hearts recoil in fear, the one we see daily pictures of in Gaza, Syria and many other places – it came to them as a decree from their Lord. The pictures are gruesome, and the reality even more so. Devastated parents standing over their children’s bodies, women standing over the bodies of their beloved husbands…it is certainly one of the hardest things anyone will ever have to do in this life.
The family of Munir Farooqi, who is in jail after being convicted of terrorism offences, is organising a protest outside HMP Wakefield after they said he has been physically abused in prison.
On a prison visit to see their husband and father the family were shocked to see that Farooqi’s face was all bruised. They say they believe he was attacked by fellow prisoners.
He was sentenced to 18 years in jail after an undercover police operation. The case was particularly controversial because it involved two undercover police officers who pretended to convert to Islam and who secretly recorded conversations with Farooqi and others over a period of about a year.
By: Maryam Amirebrahimi
Every person has a different marriage experience and sometimes, it may turn sour. When words of divorce are spoken, it can often lead to incredibly painful emotions. In this narrative, a woman describes the way she grappled with her emotions through patience and prayer, and what she realized about her husband, and her marriage, in the end.
I can’t still understand this GazaUnderAttack. Why are ordinary civilians being killed in the name of self defense. This babie’s mum was pregnant when she was killed. When the mum arrived at the hospital, they felt something moving and this baby was born in an emergency caesar.
When the doctors gently pulled the tiny newborn from her mother’s womb in an emergency Caesarian section, the woman had already been dead for an hour.
Twenty-three-year-old Shayma al-Sheikh Qanan was eight months pregnant when an Israeli tank shell hit her home in the central Gaza Strip town of Deir al-Balah, reducing it to rubble. She was left in critical condition and her husband, a local radio journalist, was also badly wounded.
“Her body was brought in after an Israeli shelling at 3:00 am on Friday,” said Doctor Fadi al-Kharti, who was at Deir al-Balah hospital when she was rushed in. “We tried to revive her but she had died on the way to hospital.”
Before paramedics managed to dig her out, she had been stuck under the rubble of her home for an hour. “Then we noticed movement in her stomach, and estimated she was about 36 weeks pregnant,” he says. Doctors performed an immediate Caesarian section and saved the baby, who was named after her late mother.
When bombing killed Khansa’s husband, and two of her sons went missing, she took the rest of her family and fled Syria, seeking refuge in Lebanon. There, we’re providing her with vital aid, but she’s losing hope fast as she wonders whether life will ever return to normal for her children again.
Khansa Al-Hammady lived a normal life in Raqqa, north Syria, with her husband farming their land. Then the bombing started and their peaceful life changed forever. Khansa’s husband was killed in the bombing and her two elder sons suddenly disappeared. She still does not know whether they are dead or alive.
Khansa, fled her home with her three remaining sons and daughter towards Lebanon and found safety in the Bekaa Valley refugee camp.
”We had a beautiful life. We used to work in agriculture; everyone had their own land and we were all happy. Now my situation is very bad.”
In the camp, the family shares a tent with another family and they have very little food for the family. Khansa’s health has also deteriorated due to the difficult conditions that she has to endure. She is losing hope that her situation will ever improve and that her children will ever have a normal life.
“I am asking Allah to return us to our homes and give us a peaceful life – that’s all we need from Him.”
Islamic Relief is working in the Bekaa Valley camp, providing essential aid to thousands of families, such as food, shelter and blankets, which provide some comfort and hope for the future.
“Islamic Relief brought us things that we need like mattresses, blankets and hygiene,” said Khansa. ”May Allah bless them.”
Alhamdullilah, I have been married for almost three years now and I feel that Muslim Marriage is one of the most beautiful gifts that Allah has given to Muslims in this world.
However, Muslim Marriage doesn’t come easy right away. Actually, many husbands today have been spoiled by family or their environment or even society and media. This has caused us to lose our manliness and personal striving that our forefathers and great men in the history of Islam had.
Now, as a Muslim Husband in this generation, I know how important and necessary it is for every Muslim Husband to work hard at their marriage in order for this Ummah to be strong again. After all, without the Muslim Family foundation, all other foundations cannot be formed.
I’ve put together some habits as a personal reminder to myself first and hopefully it can benefit Muslim Husbands out there who want to create a blissful marriage. Some ideas presented are from what I’ve read and heard and some are from experience. Take what applies to you and act on it.
So, let’s start…
1. Exercising, Staying Fit and Healthy
Sorry, brothers, you know this was coming. It is important that we stay healthy, exercise and keep fit for our wives and children. Many of us let ourselves go after marriage when it should be the other way around. When we are fit, we can do more for our wives and children. We also feel good that we are a strong contributing member of the Ummah.
My wife told me a story of how she was visiting a Muslim country recently and saw many couples where the wife was still dressed up nicely but the husband had totally let himself go.
I’m not asking everyone to be Arnold Schwarzenegger but to exercise so that when your kids are 12 years old, you can still kick a soccer ball with them. Because of my career in the software industry, I have to especially work hard at it as it is so easy for me to slack off (which I already have on a few occasions).
Doing what you enjoy will also help you stay fit. You don’t have to lift weights to stay in shape. As long as whatever you do helps you maintain a healthy, fit, Islamic lifestyle.
Also, it is imperative to eat a healthy diet. It doesn’t make much sense to work-out and stay fit and indulge in sweets and desserts everyday. Having a sweet tooth my whole life, I have now limited my sweet intake to one day of the week and have noticed positive changes like having more energy.
2. Dress well and with Ihsan (Excellence)
This is something I had to work on as I was never a good dresser when growing up. It doesn’t mean you have to wear rich expensive clothes. It means that your clothes are in good condition and you look presentable.
Muslims in history were known to dress excellently and to take care of their bodies. In the middle ages, Muslim Spain had running water and baths while the rest of Europe hardly washed their bodies.
Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) used to wear Musk to smell good.
Muslim narrated that Abu Sai’d Al-Khudri said that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The best type of perfume is Musk.”
Try to buy quality over price or quantity as this is what dressing with Ihsan (Excellence) is about. At the end of the day, your wife will be happy with you and be thinking “MashaAllah.”
It is no surprise that the first word revealed from the Quran to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was “Read…” (Surah Alaq 96:1).
I always struggled with reading growing up as I was too preoccupied with TV and video games. Even though I excelled in school, reading was always a chore and I didn’t do a lot of it.
However, as a Muslim Husband, reading is an important skill to have. Not only will it enrich you with more knowledge, it can also help with your communication and conversation skills with your wife and children. You will have much more interesting and important things to say and teach your children too.
Especially in today’s age of changing media and technology, if you are not reading and learning, you will be more susceptible to negative influences around you.