Asalamwalikum (Peace Be Upon You). Many people ask themselves or people the question, “When do I know if I am ready to get married?” The question you have to ask yourself is, why are you pursuing marriage? You have friends that have just gotten married and you are caught in the hype? You are genuinely looking to get married? You are fascinated by marriage? There are a lot of reasons why people intend to get married. Your intention has to be right whether you are young or old. A lot of times, especially with young people, they think they are ready for marriage but they are not and it causes a lot heart ache in the long run and it may or may not affect you psychologically for the next person who may have pure intentions for marriage.
1. Concentrate on yourself and correct your intention. Make sure it is what you want and not just because there are summer weddings you’ve attended or because your friends are getting married and you think you are ready too. We attend weddings and we become fascinated by all the things that happen. We see two couples happy, two families happy and everyone is having a great time. We see the happiness in the face of the couple and it is what we desire, until the feeling wears off. We believe we are ready for marriage but a lot of times, our intention is not correct. We simply have the desire to get married because others are. Another reason is because we have several problems in our lives. Whether it has to do with our eman (faith), not praying salah, emotional and psychological problems and getting married won’t a lot of times solve your issues. You are only looking to get married to solve the issues and share your burden. That is not to say, being married you aren’t allow to share the burden with your spouse but this should not the be sole reason why you are pursuing marriage. Your intention has to be right, you want to get married for the correct reasons.
By: Maryam Hedayat
It is human nature or human tendency of having no satisfaction. We get more still we crave for further more. We are never gratified with what we have at present, instead we always desire for better and beyond.
How much money do we really need to be happy? And how much do we need to spend to be joyful?
Most of us believe that once we reach a certain financial target we will be happy and not want more, but the fact is that nothing is ever enough for us as human beings.
By: Shahina Siddiqui
Faith: The most basic and essential attribute of a Muslim marriage is the common faith that binds the couple.
Since Islam is a way of life and not just a religion confined to weekly worship it becomes an integral part of a Muslim’s life. The frame of reference shared by the couple eases communication and sharing of values which is not possible in an interfaith marriage. It is highly recommended that faith play an important role in the developing a loving relationship.
For example, as the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said, that when a husband feeds his wife, he gets a reward for this act and Allah increases the bond of love between them. So when we love each other for the sake of Allah WE ACTUALLY INCREASE OUR FAITH.
The Prophet (Sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said:“The pleasure of Allaah is from the pleasure of the parents, and the anger of Allah is from the anger of the parents.”
By: Danielle Fagan
Observe Your Own Reactions
Take a look at your life and the feelings you have on a day-to-day basis. What emotions are yours and which are not? Does that action honestly make you happy? Going to a party might make you miserable. Talking to your wife might make you want to pull whatever hair you have left out. Your divorce might be the greatest thing that’s ever happened to you.
Your experience is completely unique. There is no point in comparing yourself to your friends, family members, models or actors on TV. They are not you so their experience can never match your own. What types of things make you angry? Sad? Happy? Why do they make you feel that way? If your own answer doesn’t make good, clear sense to you, then it probably isn’t yours.
By: Abiuel Hoque
Its very clear that our Prophet Muhammad (SAW) did not celebrate his birthday he only recognized it. It is completely OK to be happy. Yes, you are one year older, but when that happiness goes a little over board, and people expect to be given presents, plus others wanna throw parties, its not right.
A true believer will always express his happiness and joy by thanking Allah. So there’s no harm in recognizing the day as your birthday, but don’t let others wish you or give you presents just because its your birthday. Birthdays are not special occasions, and doing anything to make them special is not part of our religion.
Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect, it just means that you’ve decided to look beyond life & Trust Allah!
The Prophet (pbuh) said: “How wonderful is the situation of the believer, for all his affairs are good. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks for it and that is good for him; if something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him. This does not apply to anyone but the believer.” (Narrated by Muslim, no. 2999).