Steps to Love and Romance in Islam

Source: perfectmuslimwedding.com

By: Shaikh Abdul Rahman Murphy

1. There are 4 types of maturity: Financial, Spiritual, Physical, and Emotional. For most people they are lacking 2 of the 4.
2. Emotional maturity is very important. How will you deal with situation if you lose job, wife can’t get pregnant, how you handle in-laws, etc. Ask yourself “Am I emotionally mature to live with someone who has different likes/dislikes?”
3. You don’t have the right to judge without having communicated.
4. Married life is about Mawada and Rahma (Mercy).
5. If there is physical or verbal abuse, see a counselor.
6. In a Muslim home there needs to be an attitude of gratitude. Think what your spouse and kids are doing, not what they are not doing. Kids thank parents. Parents thank kids.
7. Romance between spouses is religious. The Prophet (SAW) said in a Hadith when asked who he loved most, it was Aisha (RA). When asked from men, then, “her father” reference still being her. He (SAW) had a nickname for her “Aish.” Find out what your spouse’s likes and dislikes are. Flowers and chocolates may work, but may not.
8. Compromise is the mortar of marriage. It holds the bricks together and makes it strong. Prophet (SAW) gave in to his wives on small wishes, but never sacrificed on principles.
9. Number one cause of divorce in the US is money. This is why Financial maturity is important.
10. Part of the rizk (sustenance) you have been given is your health. That is physical, mental, and spiritual. You can’t neglect any of them.
11. When you get angry, follow the Hadith, “The strong one is who controls himself in anger.” This requires self-control and discipline.  Make wudu as water cools the fire that rages from anger.
12.  Put Allah back in the equation. When we look at a relationship we only think of 2 people.  Don’t treat people the way they are meant to be treated. Ask yourself how are my prayers? Those who pray together, stay together.
13. Make dua like you mean it.

Other things a husband can do to do to keep the spark of love alive from Sh. Faraz Ibn Adam:

Responsibilities of Husbands & Responsibilities of Wives (Khutbah by Nouman Ali Khan)

“By the end of the first half of this khutbah, a lot of men are going to be upset with me. And by the end of the second half of this khutbah, a lot of women are going to be upset with me. But that’s okay because we need to be honest about the Word of Allah.”

Couples Who Spend Big On Weddings Likely to Divorce Sooner, Find Scientists

Source: uk.news.yahoo.com

By: Tom Porter

Couples who spend thousands on lavish weddings are likely to divorce sooner than those who enjoy more modest nuptials.

Researchers Andrew Francis and Hugo Mialon at Emory University in Atlanta found that women whose weddings cost $20,000 (£12,450) or more were 3.5 times more likely to end up divorced than those whose weddings cost $5,000 to $10,000.

Muslim woman leaves Cambridge PhD studies to become wife 2 of 3

By: Sam Creighton

Source: dailymail.co.uk

Studying for a PhD in engineering at Cambridge, she might not seem like  a prime candidate to  enter into a polygamous marriage.

But that is what Nabilah Phillips did, dropping out of university to become the second woman married to businessman Hasan Phillips who has since acquired a third wife.

The Deen Show: Blissful Marriage in Islam with Dr.Bashir (Video)

 This weeks guest Dr.Mohamed Rida Bashir discussing how to have a blissful Marriage. Points covered
1. Conflict resolution
2. How to get the bliss in Marriage
3. Avoiding combative communication
4. Alarming Statistics of divorce
5. Real issues “My wife talks to much, “My husbands is never home “we don’t spend anytime together” all this and more on this weeks show of TheDeenShow.

Through Thick and Thin

By: Maryam Amirebrahimi

Source: http://www.suhaibwebb.com/

Every person has a different marriage experience and sometimes, it may turn sour. When words of divorce are spoken, it can often lead to incredibly painful emotions. In this narrative, a woman describes the way she grappled with her emotions through patience and prayer, and what she realized about her husband, and her marriage, in the end.

Why Problems Are Good For You

Did you ever experience a dark phase in your life? Lost a job or a loved one? Financial or health problems? Been through a divorce or a rough marriage? Did you find yourself looking towards the sky and asking “Why me?” while hoping and yearning for that perfect life?

If you answered ‘no’ to these questions then better you stop reading right now because this article won’t interest you. If you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above questions then read on….There’s good news and bad news…

The Bad News

I am going to be straight with you. If you waiting for that ‘perfect life’, you going to wait for a long time because that life doesn’t exist. If there was such a thing as a ‘perfect life’, Allah would have given it to His closest servants, the Prophets (Peace be upon them), but they lived lives stacked with difficulty. I won’t elaborate on their sacrifices for I fear this piece will be too long but understand one thing…from marriage to kids, finance to health, the Prophets of Allah (Peace be upon them) experienced an avalanche of trials, and of course, our beloved Muhammad (PBUH) seen the worst. Despite the fact that he was Allah’s most beloved creation, he was orphaned at a young age, lost all his male progeny while still infants and went for days without food just to mention a few.

I know what you thinking…”What about the rich and famous in today’s era?”. Well, truth be told, despite the wealth, there is no happiness. Drug scandals, love affairs, depression, jail -time, I don’t know about you but I don’t see happiness in Hollywood. I mean seriously, I could hold my breath longer than some celebrity marriages. These problems are common and experienced by everyone. The poet says it up beautifully…

“The healthy seek wealth..wealthy seek health..
husbands seek jobs.. employed seek wives..
these are the days of our lives.” @poetrypencil

The Good News

So why did the Prophets of Allah experience rough patches and why do YOU experience rough patches? Because Allah loves them and Allah loves…YOU.

A Hadeeth states:

“When Allah intends good for a person He puts him/her through a test.”(Bukhaari)

But why would Allah put you through difficulty? It doesn’t make sense. It goes against logic!

Well, ask yourself these questions…

1) How often do I read Tahaajud in good times?

2) How much Dhikr do I make in good times?

Very little?

Now ask yourself this…

1) How often do I make Dua in difficult times?

2) How often do I think of Allah in difficult times?

Quite a bit?

The above Hadith makes more sense now doesn’t it?

The point is Allah puts you through a test because He wants the best for you. He wants you to be closer to Him. We might not realize it but ‘happy times’ takes us further away from Allah. We only turn to Him in our days of darkness. With every rough patch we become His friend and He loves that…He loves YOU.

Also, good news, your sins are being forgiven…

“never a believer is stricken with discomfort, hardship, illness, grief or even with mental worry except that his/her sins are forgiven” (Bukhaari, Muslim)

“A Muslim male or female continues to remain under  trial in respect of his/her life, property and offspring  till he/she meets Allah in a condition that all of his/her sins are forgiven.” (Tirmidhi)

Divorce is only an option once all other avenues of fair solutions to the issues at hand are exhausted.

 Divorce is only an option once all other avenues of fair solutions to the issues at hand are exhausted.
 El divorcio es sólo una opción una vez que todas las demás vías de soluciones justas a los temas en cuestión están agotadas.
 Echtscheiding is alleen een optie als alle andere wegen van eerlijke oplossingen voor de problemen bij de hand zijn uitgeput.
 Le divorce est seulement une option, une fois toutes les autres voies de solutions équitables aux problèmes de main sont épuisées.
 Eine Scheidung ist nur eine Option, wenn alle anderen Möglichkeiten des fairen Lösungen für die Probleme bei der Hand sind erschöpft.
 Líhūn shì wéiyī gōngpíng de jiějué fāng’àn, yǐ shǒu tóushàng de wèntí, yīdàn suǒyǒu qítā tújìng dōu yòng jìn de xuǎnxiàng.
 Skilsmässa är endast ett alternativ när alla andra vägar för rättvisa lösningar på de aktuella frågorna är uttömda.
 Razvod tol’ko variant , kak tol’ko vse drugiye vozmozhnyye kanaly dlya spravedlivykh resheniy rassmatrivayemykh voprosov budut ischerpany.
 Boşanma sadece bir seçenek eldeki konulara adil çözümler kez tüm diğer yollar tükenmiş olmasıdır.
 Il divorzio è solo un’opzione una volta tutte le altre vie di soluzioni eque alle questioni a portata di mano sono esauriti.
 Perceraian adalah hanya sebuah pilihan setelah semua jalan lain dari solusi yang adil untuk masalah di tangan telah habis.