By: Dr. Bilal Philips
The main solution for parents in dealing with boyfriend-girlfriend relationships is to give their young children the proper love and attention they need. Teach them how to feel good about themselves and Islam, and acknowledge the good things they do by praising them for their achievements.
By: Said Alpsoy
THE BEST OF THE BELIEVERS IS THE ONE WHO MAKES THINGS EASIER IN COMMERCE
- The most virtuous of the believers is the one who makes things easier in his shopping, paying his debt and demanding his debt. (Tabarani)
- Be careful! Some portion of people pay their debt nicely and demand their debt nicely, they do not hurt people. On the other hand, some people pay their debt badly, they hurt people; they demand their debt badly. They will be treated in the same way in the hereafter. Be careful! Some people pay their debt badly and demand their debt badly. Be careful! The most virtuous of them are the ones who pay their debt nicely and demand their debt nicely. The evilest ones are those who pay their debt badly and demand their debt badly. (Tirmidhi)
By: Mohamed Ghlian
I wrote an article in the past outlining some of the ways viewing pornography could be altering one’s brain. The idea with that article was to appeal to the better sense of those who spend their time in this disgusting activity. It was an attempt to also provide some possible empirical explanations for why they feel “hooked on porn.” May be after learning what they were doing to their brains, pornography addicts may take positive steps towards getting rid of this habit. However, as I think about this now, I find this approach to appeal to the selfish desires of the pornography consumer. In an attempt to get such a person to give up pornography, I was giving reasons that ultimately provide benefits for the individual behind the screen. Interestingly, a recent study examining Christian discourse in the anti-pornography narrative identified three phases in how Christians framed their opposition to pornography between 1956 and 2010:
- It is against the bible;
- It is harmful to others;
- It is harmful to oneself.
The progression through these phases is proposed to be a form of secularization of religion, as religious leaders begin to invoke non-religious arguments to bolster their opposition to pornography. Whether such a proposition is valid from an Islamic point of view is another topic of discussion. However, given the rampant narcissism of our modern times, it is not surprising that we have an increasingly more prominent discussion about how pornography is addictive, changes the brain, and can lead to sexual dysfunction for the viewer. Meanwhile, the objectified human beings facing the camera are far removed from the pornography addict’s conscience. This is not how the Beloved ﷺ would have dealt with this issue.
A young man came to the Beloved ﷺ asking him to make zina (extramarital sexual relations) permissible for him. This man loved sleeping with women and felt overwhelmed by his desires. The Beloved ﷺ responded by asking whether he would accept what he does with other women to be done by other men to his mother, his aunt, his sister, and his immediate female relatives. The young man’s answer was a vehement rejection of such a proposition. The Beloved ﷺ in turn said to him that just as he would not accept men doing to his mother or sister what he wanted to do to other women, other men would also not accept him doing to their mothers or sisters what he was asking the Beloved ﷺ to make permissible for him. The young man then asked the Beloved ﷺ to pray for him. After he left the Beloved ﷺ’s gathering he remarked that when he went to request an exception for zina to be permissible for him, he desired nothing more than it. But after his conversation with the Beloved ﷺ and the prayer he received at the end, he detested nothing more than it.
Sadly, for a people who always preach about modesty and chastity, as a collective Ummah we have really failed to implement what we preach about. We sound very hollow when we speak about Islam granting women rights and freeing women from sexual exploitation by men, when we happen to lead the pack in pornography viewership. It turns out that you can clear your Internet history all you want, but Google still keeps tabs on you. The top 10 countries searching for sex-related sites as of 2010 were:
- Saudi Arabia
Yes, it is not a dream. We Muslims hold 6 of the top 8 positions and 4 of the top 5. When taken in relation to the number of people worldwide who have Internet access, and the number of internet users in these Muslim states, it gives a scary sense of how much pornography had to be viewed for us to take over these top spots. More sad than this are the details of these searches. Muslim states lead in animal sex terms, homosexual acts, and child pornography searches. 70% of files exchanged between Saudi teenagers over phones contained pornography. Arabic, the language of the Quran, comes up as the second most used language when searching for numerous pornography genres.
Many Muslims dream of having a successful life, but it is easier said than done. Sometimes the things that help you to be successful in this world won’t help in the hereafter. We all have a limited time to understand and assess this situation. I’m sharing 7 points with you to give a head start to be successful in both worlds.
1. Dua (Supplication)
Dua is the most important aspect of a successful Muslim. It has the magic to change your fate for the good. Supplicate often, and ask Allah to show you how to live a successful life that pleases him. Don’t forget your parents your family and the whole ummah in your Dua, because the best gift you can give someone is Dua.
2. Connection with the Holy Quran
The holy Quran is the instruction manual for the whole humanity to be successful in both worlds. It has the answers to tackle every problem you face throughout your life. The Quran is not revealed just to read and put it away. It has to be studied and analyzed in order to bring it to our lives. Ask Allah to help you understand the Quran correctly and make it easy to implement in your life.
3. Helping others
Almighty Allah instructs us to be a service to the humanity regardless their religion or race. Helping others is a profound act which allows us to earn the pleasure of Allah and live a successful life. Allah Himself has promised to offer his divine support to those who strive to help others during misfortunes and disasters.
4. Dealing with temptations
Every one of us succumb to temptations because it is a part of our lives. But actually, a very few of us deal with those temptations effectively. We have to make a huge effort to resist temptations to the max in order to be a successful Muslim. (Read: 7 best ways to control sin)
5. Your companionship
Look around you, and connect with Muslims who are highly-driven with encouraging and positive ideas. If you are serious about becoming a successful Muslim, you have to realize who you are hanging around with, and assess how they can help you to shape and influence your life. That doesn’t mean you have cut out your best friend, but you should decide who deserves more and who deserves less of your valuable time.
6. Focus on the Akhirah
Execute all the simple objectives of this world from your life, and focus solely on the main event; The Akhirah (Hereafter). Live one day at a time and don’t be too nervous about what tomorrow might bring. It takes some time to banish all your distractions which are holding you back from becoming a successful Muslim. Eventually, it will become easier for you to move on to your goal.
7. Don’t give up
Once you commit yourself to take on the journey to achieve success, never ever simply give up yourself for trivial reasons. Chances are you might be so close to reach at your dream. Make sure you stick to your journey until you ultimately arrive at your destination of success.