Q&A: How can I stop thinking about women?

Question:

How can I stop thinking about women? I try too fast but don’t have enough money to get married and I try to lower my gaze but it’s so difficult. Please advise.

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Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

Thank you for your question.

Allah says in the Quran:

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things)…” [Surat al-Nur: 30]

Al-Junayd (rahimahullah) was asked: “With what do we seek help to lower our gaze?”

He replied: “Your knowledge that Him looking upon you precedes whatever you look at.”

In regard to these verses Ibn al-Qayyim (rahimahullah) says: “So He (Allah) put purity after lowering of the gaze and protecting of the private parts. For this reason lowering the gaze away from the prohibited things warrants three great benefits. The first of them is the sweetness of Imaan and the pleasure that comes from it, which is more sweet and pleasing than that which he diverted his eyes away from for Allah’s sake. Verily, whoever abandons a thing for Allah’s sake, He (Subhaanahu WaTa’ala) compensates him with better than it…The second benefit is a light in the heart and quality of intuition… and the third benefit is the strength of the heart and steadfastness and courage. So Allah (Subhaanahu WaTa’ala) would give him, by His strength, the ability of wisdom and substantiation, and the devil would flee from him as it has been mentioned in the saying, “Whoever fears his whims, the devil would race out of his shadow.”

So part of the answer dear brother is recognizing that Allah is watching you and that by looking at that which He has forbidden, you risk losing the opportunity to see Him on the Day of Judgment.

As far as practical tips are concerned:

1. Install a firewall on your computer/laptop that filters lewd material
2. Enroll in a program online to help you deal with pornography. Purify your gaze is one that I would recommend.
3. Try not to put yourself in a situation that will make it harder for you. So avoid places that will cause your gaze to wander and also being alone with your computer/laptop/TV.
4. Fasting controls ones desires and builds that consciousness in Allah needed to fight this disease.
5. Remind yourself frequently of the reward of paradise for lowering your gaze.

May Allah make it easy for you and grant you strength and firmness. Ameen

And Allah knows best.

Answered by Shaykh Omar Suleiman
Hadith of the Day Imam
Director – Islamic Learning Foundation

3 Steps to be the Best Child to your Parent!

By: Zohra Sarwari

Source: http://zohrasarwari.com/

Bismillahhe Rahmanee Raheem – Often when I give a speech for the Muslim Youth, at the end of it I am asked “How can I change and be the best child to my parent?”

SubhanAllaah, this shows me that if we were to teach our children the importance of parenthood, then they would actually reflect on the subject and possibly change their behaviors for the better.  Glory be to Allaah for all of His favors.  The problem that many of us have is that we do not teach our children how to be the best child.

InshAllaah today I will be teaching just that.  I am writing this article for all of the youth out there who want to know in 3 simple steps how to be the best child inshAllaah.   If you are one of those youth, then I would like to begin by saying mashAllaah I am proud of you first for reading this article.  That tells me a lot about you as a person.  If you have the courage to admit that you could be a better child, and you want to learn more skills that alone says a lot about your character.  However, to fully benefit from this article you need to actually put the information from this article into action- inshAllaah.

Before we get started I want to ask you one question.  Will you commit to me that you will use these 3 steps as often as you can until it eventually becomes habit?  Please say YES.  InshAllaah you said yes, and our journey begins.

Let’s start with Bismillah:

 

Step 1.  Always say “At your Service Umme or Abi (Mom or Dad)”:

What does this mean.  Well when you’re called upon to do something without a second thought say “At your service Umme or Abi.  That means I am ready to do as you wish.  With those words coming out of your mouth, your actions inshAllaah will be sincere as they take into effect next.   You see sometimes the words coming out of our mouth helps us put our actions to ease as they take effect into the next few minutes.  Believe me just saying this will make you smile and be ready to serve your parents.

 

 Action Step:  Practice saying “At your service Umme/Abi.  Say this 20 times to yourself, until you feel comfortable saying it inshAllaah.

It should be natural and easy to come out of your mouth.   Everytime you say these words to your parents and actually do what they ask you to do inshAllaah Allaah will bless you more, and you will feel happier.  When our parents are happy with us, Allaah subhana wa Tala is happy with us, when our parents are angry with us Allaah subhana wa Tala is angry with us.

The Prophet (Sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said:“The pleasure of Allaah is from the pleasure of the parents, and the anger of Allah is from the anger of the parents.”

So let’s not make our parents angry and instead earn their pleasure, for when we do good to them, we make our Lord happy.  SubhanAllaah what a beautiful religion Islam is, Allaah subhana wa Tala only wants the best from each of us.   By taking the action step as I proposed you’re on your way to success inshAllaah.

In the face of hardships, real Muslims have Patience and never loose their Character!

By: Abdullah Hakim Quick

The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) once said: “Near the end of time, there will emerge a people who will be young in age and foolish. They will recite the Qur’an but it will not go further than their collarbones. They will quote the words of the best of mankind but they will pass out of Islam as the arrow passes out of the prey.” (Ahmad: Authentic)
May Allah guide our sincere youth who have gone to extremes back to the balanced path of Allah. May Allah save them from falling into the trap of the Khawaarij (Kharijites)! Never forget this word which Abi Chondro has drawn so beautifully. Real Islam brings beauty, humility, and kindness along with courage and strength. Reflect: SubhaanAllah!!!”

It is easy to shift blame, so easy, it takes courage to admit you were wrong, yet nothing will change until you do.

 It is easy to shift blame, so easy, it takes courage to admit you were wrong, yet nothing will change until you do.
 Es fácil echarle la culpa, tan fácil, se necesita valor para admitir que te equivocaste, pero nada va a cambiar hasta que lo haga.
 Het is gemakkelijk om de schuld verschuiven, zo makkelijk, het vergt moed om toe te geven dat u ongelijk had, maar niets zal veranderen totdat je doet.
 Il est facile de rejeter la faute, si facile, il faut du courage pour admettre que vous aviez tort, mais rien ne changera jusqu’à ce que vous faites.
 Es ist leicht, die Schuld zu verschieben, so einfach, dauert es Mut, zuzugeben, Sie waren falsch, aber wird sich nichts ändern, bis Sie tun.
 Zhè shì hěn róngyì qiānnù, nàme róngyì, tā xūyào yǒngqì chéngrèn nǐ cuòle, què shénme dōu bù huì gǎibiàn, zhídào nǐ zuò.
 Det är lätt att skifta skulden, så lätt, det tar mod att erkänna att du hade fel, men ingenting kommer att förändras förrän du gör.
 Legko perelozhit’ vinu , tak prosto , eto trebuyet muzhestva , chtoby priznat’, chto vy byli ne pravy , no nichego ne izmenitsya , poka vy delayete.
 O kadar kolay suçunu kolaydır, bu yanlış olduğunu itiraf etmek cesaret ister, ama bunu yapana kadar hiçbir şey değişmeyecektir.
 E ‘facile da spostare la colpa, così facile, ci vuole coraggio per ammettere di aver sbagliato, ma nulla cambierà fino a che fare.
 Sangat mudah untuk menggeser menyalahkan, begitu mudah, dibutuhkan keberanian untuk mengakui kesalahan, namun tidak akan ada perubahan sampai Anda lakukan.

Dedication to Fares Ouda. Many others were inspired by his courage. (IMAGE)

Dedication to Fares Ouda. Many others were inspired by his courage. #FreePalestine #RememberOuda #FaresOuda pic.twitter.com/9zKwtNAHUM

— Palestine Pictures™ (@Palestine_Pics) 4 maart 2014

 

Patience is to have strength when engaging with yourself. Courage is to have strength when engaging with others.

 Patience is to have strength when engaging with yourself. Courage is to have strength when engaging with others.
 La paciencia es tener fuerza al tratar con usted mismo. Coraje es tener fuerza al tratar con los demás.
 Geduld is om kracht te hebben bij het inschakelen met jezelf. Moed is om kracht te hebben wanneer interactie met anderen.
 Patience est d’avoir la force lors de l’engagement avec vous-même. Courage est d’avoir la force lors de l’engagement avec d’autres.
 Geduld ist bei der Zusammenarbeit mit sich selbst Festigkeit haben. Mut ist, um bei der Zusammenarbeit mit anderen Festigkeit haben.
 Nàixīn shì zìjǐ gǎo de shíhou yǒu shílì. Yǒngqì shì yǔ biérén gǎo de shíhou yǒu shílì.
 Tålamod är att ha styrka om de bedriver med dig själv. Mod är att ha styrka om de bedriver med andra.
 Terpeniye imet’ sily , uchastvuya s samim soboy. Muzhestvo , chtoby imet’ silu, kogda vzaimodeystviye s drugimi.
 Sabır kendiniz ile ne zaman çekici güce sahip olmaktır. Cesaret başkalarıyla çekici zaman gücü sağlamaktır.
 Pazienza è avere la forza quando si aggancia con te stesso. Il coraggio è quello di avere la forza quando si impegnano con gli altri.
 Kesabaran adalah memiliki kekuatan ketika terlibat dengan diri sendiri. Keberanian adalah memiliki kekuatan ketika terlibat dengan orang lain.

Have the courage to admit your mistakes & wrongdoings, for until you do, you will carry on living in the world of illusion.

 Have the courage to admit your mistakes & wrongdoings, for until you do, you will carry on living in the world of illusion.
 Ten la valentía de admitir sus errores y malas acciones, por hasta que lo haga, usted seguir viviendo en el mundo de la ilusión.
 Heb de moed om je fouten en misstappen toegeven, want totdat je dat doet, zal je dragen over het leven in de wereld van de illusie.
 Ayez le courage d’admettre vos erreurs et fautes, pour jusqu’à ce que vous le faites, vous continuer à vivre dans le monde de l’illusion.
 Haben Sie den Mut, Ihre Fehler und Fehlverhalten zugeben, denn bis Sie das tun, werden Sie über das Leben in der Welt der Illusion zu tragen.
 Bùdé bù chéngrèn zìjǐ de cuòwù hé bù dàng xíngwéi de yǒngqì, yīnwèi, zhídào nǐ zuò, nǐ huì jìxù shēnghuó zài huànxiǎng de shìjiè.
 Ha modet att erkänna sina misstag och missgärningar, för tills du gör, kommer du fortsätta att leva i en värld av illusion.
 Imeyte muzhestvo priznat’ svoi oshibki & pravonarusheniya , dlya , poka vy delayete , vy budete prodolzhat’ zhit’ v mire illyuziy .
 Bunu yapana kadar, illüzyon dünyasında yaşamaya devam edecek için, hataları ve yanlışları itiraf etmek cesaret var.
 Abbiate il coraggio di ammettere i propri errori e malefatte, per fino a quando non si sarà continuare a vivere nel mondo di illusione.
 Milikilah keberanian untuk mengakui kesalahan Anda & kesalahannya, untuk sampai Anda melakukannya, Anda akan terus hidup di dunia ilusi.