How can I stop thinking about women? I try too fast but don’t have enough money to get married and I try to lower my gaze but it’s so difficult. Please advise.
Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh
Thank you for your question.
Allah says in the Quran:
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things)…” [Surat al-Nur: 30]
Al-Junayd (rahimahullah) was asked: “With what do we seek help to lower our gaze?”
He replied: “Your knowledge that Him looking upon you precedes whatever you look at.”
In regard to these verses Ibn al-Qayyim (rahimahullah) says: “So He (Allah) put purity after lowering of the gaze and protecting of the private parts. For this reason lowering the gaze away from the prohibited things warrants three great benefits. The first of them is the sweetness of Imaan and the pleasure that comes from it, which is more sweet and pleasing than that which he diverted his eyes away from for Allah’s sake. Verily, whoever abandons a thing for Allah’s sake, He (Subhaanahu WaTa’ala) compensates him with better than it…The second benefit is a light in the heart and quality of intuition… and the third benefit is the strength of the heart and steadfastness and courage. So Allah (Subhaanahu WaTa’ala) would give him, by His strength, the ability of wisdom and substantiation, and the devil would flee from him as it has been mentioned in the saying, “Whoever fears his whims, the devil would race out of his shadow.”
So part of the answer dear brother is recognizing that Allah is watching you and that by looking at that which He has forbidden, you risk losing the opportunity to see Him on the Day of Judgment.
As far as practical tips are concerned:
1. Install a firewall on your computer/laptop that filters lewd material
2. Enroll in a program online to help you deal with pornography. Purify your gaze is one that I would recommend.
3. Try not to put yourself in a situation that will make it harder for you. So avoid places that will cause your gaze to wander and also being alone with your computer/laptop/TV.
4. Fasting controls ones desires and builds that consciousness in Allah needed to fight this disease.
5. Remind yourself frequently of the reward of paradise for lowering your gaze.
May Allah make it easy for you and grant you strength and firmness. Ameen
And Allah knows best.
Answered by Shaykh Omar Suleiman
Hadith of the Day Imam
Director – Islamic Learning Foundation
By: Suhaib Webb
After greater thought and encouragement by brothers and sisters from different communities, I’ve decided to repost the post I took down about Nicki Minaj and Ferguson. Shame on me for cowering to isms who in the name of constructs foreign to our faith seek to insulate evil.
The post is found below. I would appreciate folks comments and thoughts – their critique. However, I will not tolerate harsh accusations against me or anyone who comments.
I’m concerned with attempts by some who obviously have no idea who I am or are familiar with my track record to label me something I’m not. That in itself demanded a repost. Folks who know me know that I see the arts as an important vehicle to souls. Hence we have #ArtMonday on this page. When the arts serve to corrupt and harm people, regardless of ethnic or cultural root, you can bet that I will be there to speak out. For that reason I gave a Khutba a little over a year ago on Breaking Bad.
As a father, and an Imam in a community, I pay attention to what is influencing folks around me and I speak for or against it. I do not look through the lenses of isms, but the lenses of the permissible and the impermissible.
Science prohibits overeating today, Islam prohibited more than 1400 years ago.
People living in today’s world have put their reliance in the doctors, scientists and researchers to a great extent. They have become health conscious because the doctors have prohibited overeating and they believe that doctors are concerned about people and their guidance benefits mankind. Overeating has been prohibited by Allah more than 1400 years ago. The irony is that people are now following it upon the advice of doctors whereas they ignore the guidance of Allah.
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:
ما ملأ بن آدم وعاءً شراً من بطنه ، بحسب ابن آدم لقيمات يقمن بها صلبه ، فإن كان ولا بد فثلث لطعامه ، وثلث لشرابه ، وثلث لنفسه
Ibn Masaweh, a Muslim physician in Iraq, mentioned after reading this hadith: If the people only used these words, they would avoid all diseases and maladies and the clinics and pharmacies would be idle.
“The Son of Adam will not fill a pot worse for himself than his stomach. It is enough for the Son of Adam to eat a few bites that strengthens his spine. If he likes to have more, then let him fill a third with food, a third with drink and leave a third for his breathing” (Tirmidhi)
According to the doctors, dietitians, researchers, andNational Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) USA, Eating disorders are serious, potentially life-threatening conditions that affect a person’s emotional and physical health. An overeater is most likely to suffer from:
•High blood pressure.
•High cholesterol levels.
•Heart disease as a result of elevated triglyceride levels.
•Type II diabetes mellitus.
The doctors suggest consumption of small meals multiple times a day so that people stay fit, energetic and healthy. SubhanAllah, we are blessed to be Muslims. Allah is more concerned about everything related to us than anyone else in this world. He has prohibited only what is bad for us and permitted what is good. There is no personal gain or ego behind these prohibitions. May Allah forbid us.
Allah says in the Quran:
يَأْمُرُهُم بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَاهُمْ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَيُحِلُّ لَهُمُ الطَّيِّبَاتِ وَيُحَرِّمُ عَلَيْهِمُ الْخَبَائِثَ
“Who enjoins upon them what is right and forbids them what is wrong and makes lawful for them the good things and prohibits for them the evil” (7:157)
So we should put our trust in Allah, and follow his commands to succeed in the world and hereafter. Allah says in the Quran:
وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّـهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ
And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him (65:3)
By Abu Abdullah Saqib
Be more concerned with your character than your reputation.
Preocúpate más por su carácter que su reputación.
Wees meer bezig met je karakter dan uw reputatie.
Soyez plus concerné par votre caractère que de votre réputation.
Seien Sie mehr mit Ihrem Charakter als Ihr Ruf.
Bǐ nǐ de míngshēng gèng guānxīn de shì nǐ dì xìnggé.
Vara mer intresserade av din karaktär än ditt rykte.
Bud’te boleye ozabocheny vashego personazha , chem vashey reputatsii.
Ün daha da karakteri ile daha ilgili olun.
Essere più interessato con il tuo personaggio di vostra reputazione.
Jadilah lebih peduli dengan karakter Anda daripada reputasi Anda.