By: Jade Small
All too often, we take the people we love the most for granted: our lovers, family members, friends, and even our children. We forget the enormous power of our words, as we carelessly lash out when under stress. We stick our noses in our laptops and smartphones, assuming our loved ones know what we are failing to verbalize, sometimes until the relationships are disconnected or damaged beyond repair.
Make a choice to consciously nurture your relationships with verbal communications of love. Be kind and sincere. Ask open-ended questions with an open heart. Listen empathically and non-defensively. Remember, there are no conditions, no strings, no expectations, and no manipulations. Simply, love to love.
1. I am here for you.
2. Thank you. Thanks for all you do for me and all the ways in which you add value to my life.
3. You are beautiful. What I find most beautiful about you, inside and out, is: _____.
4. How are you? Truthfully, fully and completely — how are you, really?
5. Tell me about your dreams.
6. Tell me about your fears.
7. Tell me about your beliefs about life, love, the world, etc.
8. I am thinking about you.
9. I appreciate you.
10. I care about your feelings.
11. You are important to me.
12. I made a mistake and I’m sorry. I sincerely apologize. Please forgive me.
13. I value our relationship.
14. I am grateful and fortunate to have you in my life.
15. What can I do to support you?
16. How are you feeling about our relationship?
17. How are you feeling about me?
18. The qualities I love about you most are: _____.
19. I notice and really appreciate your efforts and growth in these areas: _____.
20. What’s most meaningful to me about our connection is: ______.
21. Great job! Nice work! Well done.
22. These are the ways in which you have touched my life and made me better: _____.
23. It’s an honor to know you and to be close to you.
24. I want the very best for you.
25. I cherish the following experiences we’ve shared: _______.
26. I trust you. I trust in our relationship.
27. I forgive you. I let go of my resentments.
28. These are all of the wonderful, positive qualities I see in you: _____.
29. Your greatest gifts and strengths are: _____.
30. I respect you.
31. I respect your decisions even though they’re different from mine or what I’ve recommended. You’re free to make your own choices.
32. I support you in any and every way that I can.
33. I believe in you.
34. I lovingly and trustingly give you the time and space you need.
35. You can achieve anything you want in life.
36. You are special. You are divinely and uniquely YOU.
37. You are free to be your authentic self in the context of our relationship.
38. I welcome you to be honest and truthful with me.
39. I desire to have/maintain an intimate and loving relationship with you.
40. You elicit the following positive emotions and feelings in me: _______.
41. You are not responsible for me, for my bad behaviors or my poor choices.
42. What would you like from me or from our relationship?
43. It’s not your fault. I don’t blame you.
44. I support you in taking care of yourself.
45. Your feelings are understandable and normal responses to everything you have been through.
46. I do not expect you to be perfect. I absolutely understand you are a human being and that none of us are perfect.
47. I acknowledge my areas of needed improvement including ABC, and am working on them by doing XYZ.
48. It’s important to me to know and understand you.
49. I come to you with an open heart and an open mind.
50. I love you fully, completely, and exactly as you are.
By: Huma Ahmed
Imagine yourself at the moment of your death.
What thoughts cross your mind? Memories of family and friends? Panic? Regrets? Remembrance of Allah? What is death? What happens to us after we die? What is life in the Hereafter like, this new and strange world after death? Do we lose consciousness of this life? Where does our soul go? Do we feel and think the same?
By: Oyon Ajmain
These last two days after Ramadan everytime in the daytime when I feel hungry or thirsty I stop myself from eating, because in the back of my head I still have Ramadan on my mind and it feels unnatural to eat during the day after not eating in the day for so long. Alhamdulillah we have the ability to go outside and just eat something anywhere we want and go to our fridges and eat something at any given time of the day, whether it be at 4am or at 2pm. Imagine all those kids in Gaza, Syria, Africa and all of the other oppressed and third world countries, where the children don’t get to eat for so long in their life that they must find it unnatural when they get given food. The happiness they must feel is not even close to the happiness we feel when we can eat during the day, after Ramadan passes. For them the struggle is everyday and they have no choice about it.
So please take some time out today to just say Alhamdulillah for what Allah has given, make sincere du’a for the less fortunate that their thirst and hunger may be quenched and if you can then donate to a charity that you know can make a difference inshaAllah.
Today world has so many things to make a person busy and settle down in this life forever. What a generation we are living in! Technological, architectural and ideological advancements have made this world an irresistible place to leave for good. It has given strong and indispensable reasons to choose the worldly life. Humans work all their lives to build mansions to stay, stock up money in their bank accounts as savings for retirement, subscribe to life insurance policies so that their life and the future of their families remain secured, and people buy cars, air-conditioners, smart-phones, etc to ease their process of living on this planet.
We have made arrangements for our entertainment and leisure, for food and clothing, for touring the world, and for enjoying each and every moment of life. Allah says in the Quran: وما الحياة الدنيا الا متاع الغرور
And what is the worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion (57:20; 3:185)
Despite of this verse revealed by Allah, we have been busy all the time to prepare ourselves for this worldly life and ignore the Hereafter. Allah says in the Quran:
يَعِدُهُمْ وَيُمَنِّيهِمْ ۖ وَمَا يَعِدُهُمُ الشَّيْطَانُ إِلَّا غُرُورًا
Satan promises them and arouses desire in them. But Satan does not promise them except delusion (4:120) And
فَلَا تَغُرَّنَّكُمُ الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا
So let not the worldly life delude you (31:33)
But unfortunately, we have overlooked this piece of guidance from Allah and got trapped into the fake promises of Satan who has blocked our safe-passage to heaven through Earth. This world is not a thoroughfare. There are many misleading turns, directions and twists set by the Satan. These are designed and presented so beautifully that it becomes hard for a person to resist, so he follows them.
This clearly means that we have decided to settle in the world forever. People have forsaken the rights of Allah over them, they have abandoned prayers because they feel that prayers cause hindrance in their jobs, they make no difference in Halaal and haraam because this would keep them away from many delusive delicacies of this world. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) took hold of Ibn Umar’s shoulder and said, ‘Be in the world as if you were a stranger or a traveler along the path.” And ibn Umar would say, “If you survive till late afternoon, do not expect [to be alive in] the morning. If you survive till morning, do not expect [to be alive in] the late afternoon. Take from your health before your sickness and your life before your death.”(Recorded in al-Bukhari).
Allah says in the Quran:
زُيِّنَ لِلنَّاسِ حُبُّ الشَّهَوَاتِ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ وَالْبَنِينَ وَالْقَنَاطِيرِ الْمُقَنطَرَةِ مِنَ الذَّهَبِ وَالْفِضَّةِ وَالْخَيْلِ الْمُسَوَّمَةِ وَالْأَنْعَامِ وَالْحَرْثِ ۗ ذَٰلِكَ مَتَاعُ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا ۖ وَاللَّـهُ عِندَهُ حُسْنُ الْمَآبِ
Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire – of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return. (3:14)