By: Ibn al-Jawzi Rahimahullah
“I wonder at you! Allah draws near to you though He is in no need for you, whereas you are arrogant of Him though you are in need of Him. When you are far, He draws you near to Him and when you are negligent, He reminds you. He did not favor any other creation over you but nevertheless you still favor everything over Him. Lower the head of your regret before the commencement of the day at which you are blamed because then you will not have the face to answer any of that.”
As humans, it’s natural for us to make mistakes, but as Muslims we should be able to give advice to our brothers and sisters who slip up, and also we must learn to accept advice from them when we are the ones who slip up. As Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (r) said “There is no goodness in people who don’t give advice, and there is no goodness in people who don’t like to be advised.” So Naseeha (advice) plays a big role in making this ummah stronger , if done correctly.
From what I have observed, Muslims nowadays are facing problems with the way they advise others and with the way they receive the advice themselves.
Sincerity– Having the right intention is the most important thing. Your sole purpose of giving advice should be to please Allah and not to embarrass the person or show them that you are a better Muslim.
The right attitude – You should use kind words and avoid being rude, in other words, always be humble .The person you are advising should not feel as if you are judging them. The main reason as to why most Muslims or people in general reject advice is because of the language used and the way it is put forth.
Secrecy – If you were to advice someone in public, it would mean exposing their faults to everyone, this sort of embarrassment is something that nobody would like to experience, so as Muslims we have to make sure that we advise our brothers and sisters in private. You can either have a private conversation with them or if you don’t know them personally an email would be a nice idea.
Don’t get angry – If the person responds in a bad way or rejects your advice, don’t get angry and just let it go, you have done your part as a Muslim brother/sister and it is up to them if they want to act upon your advice. Getting angry would contradict the whole point of giving advice.