How can I stop thinking about women? I try too fast but don’t have enough money to get married and I try to lower my gaze but it’s so difficult. Please advise.
Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh
Thank you for your question.
Allah says in the Quran:
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things)…” [Surat al-Nur: 30]
Al-Junayd (rahimahullah) was asked: “With what do we seek help to lower our gaze?”
He replied: “Your knowledge that Him looking upon you precedes whatever you look at.”
In regard to these verses Ibn al-Qayyim (rahimahullah) says: “So He (Allah) put purity after lowering of the gaze and protecting of the private parts. For this reason lowering the gaze away from the prohibited things warrants three great benefits. The first of them is the sweetness of Imaan and the pleasure that comes from it, which is more sweet and pleasing than that which he diverted his eyes away from for Allah’s sake. Verily, whoever abandons a thing for Allah’s sake, He (Subhaanahu WaTa’ala) compensates him with better than it…The second benefit is a light in the heart and quality of intuition… and the third benefit is the strength of the heart and steadfastness and courage. So Allah (Subhaanahu WaTa’ala) would give him, by His strength, the ability of wisdom and substantiation, and the devil would flee from him as it has been mentioned in the saying, “Whoever fears his whims, the devil would race out of his shadow.”
So part of the answer dear brother is recognizing that Allah is watching you and that by looking at that which He has forbidden, you risk losing the opportunity to see Him on the Day of Judgment.
As far as practical tips are concerned:
1. Install a firewall on your computer/laptop that filters lewd material
2. Enroll in a program online to help you deal with pornography. Purify your gaze is one that I would recommend.
3. Try not to put yourself in a situation that will make it harder for you. So avoid places that will cause your gaze to wander and also being alone with your computer/laptop/TV.
4. Fasting controls ones desires and builds that consciousness in Allah needed to fight this disease.
5. Remind yourself frequently of the reward of paradise for lowering your gaze.
May Allah make it easy for you and grant you strength and firmness. Ameen
And Allah knows best.
Answered by Shaykh Omar Suleiman
Hadith of the Day Imam
Director – Islamic Learning Foundation
By: Shaykh Muhammad Saalih al-Munajjid
QUESTION: I am a Muslim alhamdulillah but I have some problem with me? I have come to realize that I love being myself and I feel that only a few can understand me so I really love privacy in all that I do…I dont like to tell people about me or my background; I love to be by myself. For instance, if I want to do something I can’t tell anyone no matter how close we are or even some believers. But I really love those who follow the Quran and Sunnah (Prophetic teachings). I really love the scholars of Islam; al-Imam al-Bhukari, Muslim, al-Albaani, al-Shafee etc. For me, I want to be like them. Please advise me what to do.
This training program may be summed up as follows:
1 – Preparing yourself intellectually, mentally and physically to mix with people, put up with them and try to be in harmony with them as much as possible.
2 – Playing any kind of team sport such as soccer – for example – which involves some kind of conscious and unconscious contact and interaction.
3 – Joining charitable and voluntary associations, attending Qur’aan study circles and halaqahs (circles of knowledge).
4 – Try to visit a trustworthy psychiatrist who can tell you some useful ways of dealing with this problem.
5 – Avoid feeling isolated from society. Try to forget all things that exacerbate these feelings in you, for the cause of this introversion may be a situation in which you found yourself or a trial that you have gone through. Seek the help of Allaah in dealing with it and forgetting it.
And Allaah is the Source of strength.
The main view above shows a section of the interior. The crafted stone blocks are tombs; one of them has a viewing hole through which bones can be seen (inset). The bones of the dog have also been displayed.
- The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) was challenged by the Quraysh of Makkah who did not believe in his message to answer three questions passed onto them by the Jews. One of the questions was, “Who were the youth who disappeared, and how many were they?” The Jews knew that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) would only be able to tell the story if he was indeed a prophet.
- The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) had no clue and said that he would answer them tomorrow, hoping for the answer to be revealed to him through Jibraeel (upon him be peace) but forgetting to say ’Inshallah’ (if Allah wills). No revelation came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) for 15 days, leading the Quraysh to greatly abuse and revile him.
- The answer, however, was eventually revealed to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) in a Surah named after the cave (Al-Kahf) of the sleepers. The Quran revealed the exact story that the Jews knew of, and it answered the questions similarly to the information they had. The Quran confirmed that they slept for 309 years, which the Jews knew of. The Quran however did not give an exact answer as to how many they were. Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) revealed:“(Some) will say: They were three, their dog the fourth, and (some) say: Five, their dog the sixth, guessing at random: and (some) say: Seven, and their dog the eighth. Say (O Muhammad): My Lord is best aware of their number. None knowth them save a few. So contend not concerning them except with an outward contending, and ask not any of them to pronounce concerning them.” [18:22]
- The Jews themselves did not know exactly how many there were (whether 3,5 or 7) and were astonished when the Quran gave all the possible numbers they had suspected for the number of sleepers.
References: Stories of the Prophets – Ibn Kathir, Wikipedia
By: Ibn al-Jawzi Rahimahullah
“I wonder at you! Allah draws near to you though He is in no need for you, whereas you are arrogant of Him though you are in need of Him. When you are far, He draws you near to Him and when you are negligent, He reminds you. He did not favor any other creation over you but nevertheless you still favor everything over Him. Lower the head of your regret before the commencement of the day at which you are blamed because then you will not have the face to answer any of that.”
Salam (Peace) Dear Brother,
Thank you for your question and for contacting Ask About Islam.
It is my pleasure to correspond with you. Your question is rather more than one question, but if you permit me, I will try to answer you. Bear with me as my answer will, of necessity, be quite long. You say one thing but perhaps you really believe something else? Let me see if I can explain to you some of the benefits of Islam.
By: Shaykh Yusuf Badat
Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh
Organ donation has been debated extensively in pre-modern and contemporary times. A number of Fiqh Academy’s across the globe such as the Islamic Fiqh Assembly of the Muslim World League in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, have concluded that organ donation is permissible to save a life. The organ can be donated from one that is alive or one that is deceased. There are a number of conditions attached to the permissibility of organ donation, such as the below mentioned:
· The process of organ donation must uphold the dignity and honour of the human body
· The donor should not be adversely affected in health and normal life by donating the organ
· The organ cannot be sold
· The donor must willingly give permission to donate the organ
· There must be a genuine need to save or restore life
(See: Fiqh al Ḥalāl wa al Ḥarām by Muftī Khālid Saifullāh Al-Raḥmānī)
And Allah knows best.