By: Zohra Sarwari
Bismillahhe Rahmanee Raheem – Often when I give a speech for the Muslim Youth, at the end of it I am asked “How can I change and be the best child to my parent?”
SubhanAllaah, this shows me that if we were to teach our children the importance of parenthood, then they would actually reflect on the subject and possibly change their behaviors for the better. Glory be to Allaah for all of His favors. The problem that many of us have is that we do not teach our children how to be the best child.
InshAllaah today I will be teaching just that. I am writing this article for all of the youth out there who want to know in 3 simple steps how to be the best child inshAllaah. If you are one of those youth, then I would like to begin by saying mashAllaah I am proud of you first for reading this article. That tells me a lot about you as a person. If you have the courage to admit that you could be a better child, and you want to learn more skills that alone says a lot about your character. However, to fully benefit from this article you need to actually put the information from this article into action- inshAllaah.
Before we get started I want to ask you one question. Will you commit to me that you will use these 3 steps as often as you can until it eventually becomes habit? Please say YES. InshAllaah you said yes, and our journey begins.
Let’s start with Bismillah:
Step 1. Always say “At your Service Umme or Abi (Mom or Dad)”:
What does this mean. Well when you’re called upon to do something without a second thought say “At your service Umme or Abi. That means I am ready to do as you wish. With those words coming out of your mouth, your actions inshAllaah will be sincere as they take into effect next. You see sometimes the words coming out of our mouth helps us put our actions to ease as they take effect into the next few minutes. Believe me just saying this will make you smile and be ready to serve your parents.
Action Step: Practice saying “At your service Umme/Abi. Say this 20 times to yourself, until you feel comfortable saying it inshAllaah.
It should be natural and easy to come out of your mouth. Everytime you say these words to your parents and actually do what they ask you to do inshAllaah Allaah will bless you more, and you will feel happier. When our parents are happy with us, Allaah subhana wa Tala is happy with us, when our parents are angry with us Allaah subhana wa Tala is angry with us.
The Prophet (Sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said:“The pleasure of Allaah is from the pleasure of the parents, and the anger of Allah is from the anger of the parents.”
So let’s not make our parents angry and instead earn their pleasure, for when we do good to them, we make our Lord happy. SubhanAllaah what a beautiful religion Islam is, Allaah subhana wa Tala only wants the best from each of us. By taking the action step as I proposed you’re on your way to success inshAllaah.
Step 2: Always be thankful to your parents after your thankful to Allaah subhana wa Tala.
Allaah subhana wa Tala also says in The Qur’aan
Thank Me (Allaah) and your parents…
(The Qur’aan, Chapter 31; Verse 14)
Allaah subhana wa Tala gives us everything, so much that if we actually sat down with a paper and pen to write down all of his blessings we could not count them all. SubhanAllaah. I mean this literally. For breathing alone we could not thank our Lord all of our life. SubhanAllaah. Please remember to always be grateful to Allaah subhana wa Tala, and say “Alhamdullilah” as often as you can inshAllaah. With that being said, after thanking Allaah subhana wa Tala, it is time to thank your parents for all that they do for you. Sometimes you may think they are not doing much for you, but believe me being a parent we always try to do our best for our kids. If they cannot financially, they will try any way they can to give you all they got. Thank them for their time. Thank them for their support. Thank them for raising you. Thank them for their patience. Thank them for loving you. Thank them, thank them, and thank them. Remember that being thankful is also a good deed, and humbles us as human beings.
Action Step: Say Jazak Allaah Khairan as often as you can to your parents. This will help you appreciate them more and remember all of their acts of kindness.
Step 3: Always keep them company when they need you.
A man came to the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) and asked him who is more worthy of his dear companionship. He – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – said, “Your mother!” The man asked again and again, and the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam replied, “Your mother! Your mother!” Until on the fourth time he – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – said, “Your father.”
In today’s society, it is almost a shame to have your parents be your best friend. They have made it almost like it is the worst thing on earth. However, once again in Islaam your best friend should be your mom or dad.
The righteous and scholars have left us with many examples from the past, to learn from. Let’s look at the example of Haywah bin Shurayh radi Allahu anhu, one of the imam’s of our ummah. He used to give all of his classes in front of his home. During class, his mother would call him to feed the chickens. He would stop teaching, stand up, leave the halaqa, and go feed the chickens. SubhanAllaah. Examples like this are many for us to look up to and learn from inshAllaah.
Keeping them company could be different for each of us. Some parents may require us to listen to them tell us stories of the past, other parents require us to just obey them, while other parents want us to accompany them to outings. You know what your parent needs, and if you cannot figure it out, ask them, what would make them happy with you.
“But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.”
(The Qur’aan Chapter 31: Verse15)
Action Step: Find out what makes your parents happy with you and do it, so long as it is not against Allaah subhana wa Tala.
I pray that these 3 steps which seem very easy to do are easy to do for you. Sometimes it is very hard for us to change, but in order for success to come to us, change is what we must work on, especially when it is to benefit us in this world and the hereafter inshAllaah. Whatever you do, do not give up. Keep working hard on trying to improve and be the best child that you can be inshAllaah. Always make du’aa for Allaah subhana wa Tala to help you, and inshAllaah your actions + du’aa will help you become successful.