How to Be a Successful Muslim Husband

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      Begin with a good greeting: when you return from work or travel, greet her. Start with “As-salaamu ‘alaikum” – meaning, “Peace be upon you!”. Remember the saying of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him: “Shall I guide you to a thing, if you were to do that, you would love one another? Spread the salaam [greetings of peace] amongst yourselves.” [1]

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      Look at her with love. Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said: “When a husband and wife look at each other with love, Allah looks at both of them with Mercy.” [2] Make eye-contact when you talk with her, as a woman she will really appreciate this – and having eye-contact which is full of love is just the icing on the cake!

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      Notice her and smile at her. The Prophet, peace be upon him, saw a smile as a gift of joy – an emotional gift, not a material one – a gift whose substance is received by the heart. A companion of the Prophet, Jarîr `Abd Allah said: “Since the time I accepted Islam, the Prophet (peace be upon him) never once failed to notice me. Whenever he saw me, he would smile at me.” [3] – and the more famous saying, “”When you smile at your brother’s face (meaning everyone, not specific to brothers), it is charity.” [4] Now, if you did these two things within your marriage, a more emphasized-on relationship, think of how much more virtuous it will be! Let your wife feel your love for her by your glimmering smile upon seeing her.

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      Tell her you love her. And tell her it often! And be imaginative sometimes – add a romantic twist! Take an example from the Prophet! The wife of the Prophet, ‘Ayesha, would ask him: “How is your love for me?” And he would reply, : “Like the rope’s knot,” meaning that it was strong and secure. Time after time she would ask him, “How is the knot?” and he would reply, “In the same condition!” [5]

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      Kiss her. This is a simple act but one with massive impact! The Prophet peace be upon him, would kiss his wife before leaving for prayers. [6] Positive dispositions induce positivity in the atmosphere.

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      Play games with her: the Prophet’s wife ‘Ayesha said that she accompanied the Prophet on a certain journey. At that time she was a mere girl and was neither fat nor bulky. The Prophet asked the people to move on, and they marched ahead. Then the Prophet said to her, “Come on, let us have a race!” ‘A’ishah says that she ran and remained ahead of him. The Prophet kept quiet for some time. Later on when ‘Ayesha had forgotton the previous incident and gained weight, again she accompanied the Prophet on some journey. The Prophet again asked the people to march ahead, and they moved ahead. Then the Prophet again asked her to have a race with him. This time the Prophet raced ahead of her and she lagged behind. Now the Prophet laughed and said, “This is in reply to my previous defeat.” [7]

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      Spend time with her doing what she likes as well as what you like! This is the best way to nurture the marriage and become closer to each other. The Prophet, peace be upon him, would happily stay and wait with his wife ‘Ayesha whilst she rested her cheek against his, whilst she watched a show of spears and swords from some visiting Abyssinians. Only when she was tired of it, he asked ‘Are you satisfied?’ and when she affirmed, they both left together. [8]

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      Support her: one report says that the wife of the Prophet was on a journey with him. She was late so the Prophet received her while she was crying. The Prophet, peace be upon him, wiped her tears with his own hands and tried his utmost to calm her down. [9]

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      Help her out around the house: or at the very least tidy up after yourself. ‘Ayesha was asked about the manners of the Prophet in his home, and she replied: “He would be helping in doing the family duties and when he hears the call of prayer he goes out.” [10] Also, ‘Ayesha reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, used to mend his shoes, sew his clothes and work in his household, ‘just as one of you works in his own house’. She also reported that he was a man among men who used to patch his clothes, milk his goats and engage himself in work.” [11] Especially if she is sick or tired, don’t wait until she asks you to help.

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      Eat and drink with her: or go a step further romance-wise and do what the Prophet, peace be upon him, would do! When his wife would drink from a vessel, he would share with her, and put his mouth in the exact place she put her lips to drink from. And when she would eat from some meat, and he would share with her, he would seek the same place she put her lips to also eat from! [12] If you do this, your wife will know you’re seeking to please her, and she will adore you for these little gestures of love!

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      Call her by sweet names! The Prophet, peace be upon him, would call his wife ‘Ayesha “Humayra” [13] meaning ‘rosy’ as she was fair skinned and had rosy cheeks. Invent sweet names for your wife, and you will find her more responsive and see your communication levels flourish!

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      Talk with her. Talk with her about her feelings and your good memories. Spend time talking together. Postpone telling bad news to her until a suitable time. Look for the most suitable way to convey bad news.

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      Be Cheerful. Be happy, cheerful, friendly and gentle when you meet your wife.

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      Be Honest. Avoid telling her lies. If you’re not truthful with her, she will never trust you. Always tell her the truth.

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      Consult her: let her feel her opinion is important to you. Change your decision if she has a better opinion. The Prophet, peace be upon him, once left Madinah with his companions to perform the pilgrimage. However, upon arriving at Makkah, the non-Muslims refused them entry. Thereafter Prophet, peace be upon him, made a treaty with them which was not in favor of the Muslims, and still meant they couldn’t perform their pilgrimage. The companions all left frustrated and angry at this unfair treaty, and wouldn’t break the state they had gone in, which you must go into if performing the pilgrimage. The state is broken through shaving or trimming ones hair, followed by some other practices. The Prophet, peace be upon him, seeing their state became sad and approached his wife for advice. She advised him to go amongst them publicly and begin shaving his head. He followed her advice, and the companions, seeing him doing it, all dropped their frustration and followed suit. The Prophet’s wife’s advice was taken and has ‘saved the day!’ [14] You are your wife are other halves of each other: taking her advice is a fundamental thing to do which will nurture your marriage.

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      Thank her. Thank her for all the nice things she does, this will give her self-confidence.

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      Bring her a gift. It should not be an expensive gift, but is should be something she likes.

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      Listen to her Halal Demands. Let her improve you as a person. Encourage her to enjoin people to righteousness and discourage people from sinning. Encourage her to meet with her good friends and relatives. Take her out for halal entertainment. Entertain her yourself in halal ways!

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      Be nice to her in bed. Adhere to Islamic etiquette of marriage and sex. Have a healthy intimate life with her and encourage and praise her during that. Incorporate halal means to improve your love life and her satisfaction.

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      Make Dua: Ask Allah to help you achieve and maintain excellent relations with your wife.

    Tips

    • Tell her she is beautiful.
    • Take her to Hajj and Umrah whenever you afford to do so.
    • Never lie to your wife.
    • Treat her generously.
    • Never disrespect her.
    • Treat your spouse with gentleness and kindness. Nurture her. Show her you care with kind words and compliments.
    • Help her in serving Allah. Wake her up in the last third of the night to pray “Qiyam-al-Layl”. Teach her what you know of the Quran, Hadith, Tafseer and Dhikr.
    • Understand her fair needs and necessities and try his best to fulfill them.
    • Be generous. Give her enough money. Never wait until she asks for that.
    • Take her to visit her family frequently but especially at some occasions.

About Akhi Soufyan

If you see goodness from me, then that goodness is from The Creator. You should be thankful to The Creator for all of that. Cause I'm not the architect of that. I'm only the...the recipient. If you see weakness or shortcoming in me it's from my own weakness or shortcoming. And I ask The Creator and the people to forgive me for that. _______________________________ Website eigenaar voor een betere wereld en doel, niet gericht op verdiensten van geld maar goede daden. In de naam van Allah, de Barmhartige. Als je goedheid van mij ziet, dan is dat de goedheid van de Schepper (God). Wees De Schepper dankbaar voor dat. Want ik ben daar niet de architect van, ik ben alleen de ontvanger.

Posted on January 30, 2014, in ARTICLES and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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